How to Read Minds in Parish Ministry
🤫 Note: This article comes from an Instagram reel I published recently. Click the image above to go find and watch it. And give me a follow over there so we can connect!
In ministry, have you ever felt like no one cares? Maybe it’s a struggle to get people to show up, engage on social media, or even open your emails. You stand in front of a group, and it feels like everyone is scrolling their phones, barely listening. This feeling is all too familiar, but there’s a way to change it—and it starts with one question.
But first, let’s talk about an important mindset shift:
You can’t preach the gospel to an empty stomach.
This idea, often attributed to Mother Teresa, is simple but powerful. When someone is hungry or struggling, the last thing they want to do is sit and listen to a message, no matter how important it may be. Their personal struggle takes precedence. This is a reality we need to embrace in parish ministry.
Why People Seem Disengaged
Many times, people aren’t uninterested in what the church offers because they don’t care. Instead, they believe their struggles are more urgent or that what’s offered isn’t connected to their daily challenges.
So, how do we address this?
Ask This One Question
To begin “reading people’s minds” in ministry, ask them this:
What is your biggest struggle or challenge in life right now?
This simple question can unlock insights that will reshape how you engage with your parishioners. You can include it in emails, surveys, or even anonymous index cards handed out during events. The key is to make it easy for them to respond and, most importantly, to really listen to their answers.
The Surprising Results
When we did this at my parish, the responses were eye-opening. One of the most common challenges was disciplining children. This wasn’t something we had expected, but it completely changed the way we crafted our ministries and events.
Most parish ministers don’t really know what their people are struggling with. Or, even if they do, they don’t know the right language to address these issues in a way that resonates.
By asking this question, you get the words directly from the people you serve, making your ministry more relevant to their lives.
Using the Answers to Engage Your Parishioners
Once you have their responses, you can use that language to shape your content, programs, and messaging. When parishioners start hearing their struggles reflected in your events, they’ll feel like you’re speaking directly to them. They’ll say things like, “I feel like this ministry is exactly what I needed,” or “You were reading my mind!”
And even though you can’t solve everyone’s problems, you can help them understand how the gospel message speaks to their lives—and when possible, offer practical help.
An Example of Relevance
Too often, parish events are advertised with vague promises: “Join us for a transformative retreat where you’ll connect with Jesus and spend time in prayer.” While this may appeal to some, many others are focused on the daily grind of balancing work, family, and life.
Imagine how much more engaging it would be to promote that same retreat with language like:
“Are you feeling stretched too thin? Struggling with work-life balance?
Come to this retreat to recharge and reprioritize your life.”
We used this simple question to craft an after-Mass mini-series for parents, addressing their real struggles. It wasn’t just another program—it was something that spoke directly to their needs. As a result, we saw engagement from people who had previously been disconnected from the parish.
What About You?
Now, I’d love to hear from you. Should I make another video about the adult mini-series we used to engage disengaged parents? Or should I dive into another topic? Let me know in the comments below!
And while you’re at it, tell me about your biggest challenge in parish ministry right now—I’d love to help.
